My bravery allows you to live a life you REALLY want... - Kerry Hales - Life Coach

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My bravery allows you to live a life you REALLY want…

July 10, 2019

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I am often surprised at people’s surprise when I tell them what I have done or experienced in my life.  As I feel that this is what I do with clients.  I bravely go to the places that are too scared to go.  In our heads we can create so much drama around what keeps us safe.  It may be uncomfortable but its is our discomfort and that is sometimes the better of the two…

Familiar discomfort V’s Unfamiliar discomfort

Last week a friend asked me if I was conscious of the constant need for challenge in my life?  She said when she says oh I am going to start this… or this… it is usually something ‘nice’ – whereas my ‘news’ are usually something to challenge me.  No surprise there to any of you who are in my groups… A challenge, or a project… I love the feeling of finding out something new about who we are and what we can do.

I am reading blogs of coaches who are fighting against the backlash of our industry being awash with those who are not experienced or are blatantly lying in their marketing – or worse still setting up a business because they have ‘done it and so I can show you how’.  I think this is the worse – it is the antithesis of a good coach’s qualities.

Instead of finding reasons why you may want to work with me, I thought it may be…

Fun to share with you #50brave things that I have done in my life!

That adds to the list of reasons why I am the coach to come to when you need someone brave enough to stand up to your mind and ask the questions that you know you need to be able to confront your own fears on living the life you REALLY want.

So, here they are:  I am sure I will tell the stories in more detail in the future, but what the heck… here goes…  and if you are feeling inspired – which of course I want you to feel… you can send me a message at the end to see how I can get brave with you and your mind..


  1. At  21 I travelled the world for a year – I started with a friend, but we split half way round and I was on my own.
  2. I was the youngest and first person to take the city in guilds for Dog Grooming at 17 and become an inspector at 18 much to many a older groomers indignation
  3.  At 19 I left a job and went to live in Rhodes and travel with my boyfriend. All we had was a flight…
  4. I have jumped out a plane three times; twice with a man strapped to my back, once with a rope that pulled my chute for me… but I had to land myself!
  5. At 21 I bungeed 329ft – as the only woman in my group… I went first!
  6. I did the awesome foursome in NZ bungee, helicopter, white water rafted and jet boat in one day…
  7. I have abseiled 200ft down the side of a building in London – for charity
  8. I have ran a marathon – I started training on Jan 21 and i could only run 200 metres…
  9. I am a triathlete and gathered seven women to do it with me…. I heard so much about them I wanted to see if I could do one… so I picked the nearest one… unbeknown to me it was where people go to challenge themselves on the hills…. I swore at every single one of them.
  10. I had my two children in 14 months… brave or stupid… I ask myself this a lot now… at the time I didn’t have time to think…  clearly!
  11. I shaved my head for charity when i was 48 – I blame facebook for listening into a very innocent comment of ‘Oh I could do that’ we raised over £3,000… and my eldest son did it with me!  #mybraveboy
  12. I set a 100 day burpee challenge to help my grief after losing my mother – starting at one and adding one every day till 100… 5050 in total and no I did not have the GI Jane body I was expecting although I did have some serious abs!
  13. When my mother died I decided to stand up for myself in situations where I had for all of my life compromised with my father and brother. It resulted in making a decision to love those from afar is better then allowing behaviour to continue.
  14.  I have undertaken four 30-Day residential trainings where my personality was stripped apart and put back together again. Every year it was the most painful thing ever, but the result is my heightened awareness of who I work with and what I can do for them – this is one of the main things that makes me the coach I am.
  15. I will always stand up for the little guy – no matter what. I was at training and we were told not to wear watches… which I did not understand and so up went my hand… to stand up for those who would like to… and I don’t wear a watch…
  16. I left my secure safe job to start my own business when I had two young children to support
  17. I went back to school after I came back from travelling, as I discovered that I did have a brain and I could get a degree!  So I did.
  18. I took a job in the Cayman Islands running a grooming parlour and kennels from an ad in the Dog World.  It was after I came back from travelling and I couldn’t turn down an opportunity for an adventure!
  19. I was an early adopter for vlogging – BLAB, Periscope, facebook lives – if I am honest this feels like home to me.
  20. I have parasended – a rope attached to a boat that pulls you up…
  21. At 19 I  travelled around turkey with my boyfriend with no real goal of where were going or doing… just going…
  22. When I was 21 I landed in Bangkok, at midnight,  and alone with no where to stay. Sometimes you need to trust… it worked out fine.
  23. I decided I needed to take my dream off the shelf and go live at the beach. Whitstable found me. I was working in london and just looked at where I could commute from… and the next week a friend called a friend of mine to say she was moving out of her house… and in I went. I knew no one at all. Not one.
  24. In the midst of grieving for my my mum, I started my first mastermind (new one coming in Sept 2019) instead of falling into a pattern of sadness. I needed a focus to keep my mind awake and intentional.
  25. I checked my affirmation of having a sexy lean strong body… in the mirror and I was wearing my mums knickers (she wore them once – they irritated her sore skin from cancer) and an old shabby bra… so I went into my knicker drawer and threw out anything that did not make me feel my affirmation. There were two pairs left.
  26. I have continued on with my business when so many of my friends and my mother asked my why every time it got hard.
  27. I took redundancy instead of taking another job that made me miserable.
  28. I say no to lots of ‘must do’s’ for my children as I do not believe in towing the line – this makes me a ‘weird’ mum… #beokwithnotbeingnormal
  29. I spoke up when my relationship with my boys father wasn’t working how we agreed. It hurt us both but we were living a compromise. I will not do that.
  30. I had a miscarriage at 38 and was told that holding onto a baby naturally might not happen for me as I have ‘left it’ too long. The second time I got pregnant we had my first beautiful boy.
  31. I ask the unaskable questions with my clients. If i think it I ask it. If I do not have the courage to ask those questions they get to stay where they are. I think this is my most courageous I thing I do.
  32. I get up at 5am most days to put me first. It takes disciplinene and I was NOT, I repeat NOT a morning person until I got up at 5am to go to my SIL mothers funeral – I was up and out at 5am. For a dead person. If I could do that for them… why not me?
  33. I turned off the tv so my children can’t watch it. I knew it was making us lazy as parents and it was taking a hold. Turning on the TV was giving away our choice. So I moved the TV to other side of the room. I thought they would complain. They didn’t. We do watch catch up and movies but no sitting watching it drip feed.
  34. I make a habit of asking for what I want. It is easier to say what you do not want. But when you decide to change your life and do that for others. I cannot be the person who lacks integrity. I do what I ask of others. If I do not my business suffers and so do my clients. It just can’t happen. When it does it shows. See 29…. actually all of the above…
  35. I will always say what I think, if you ask. This has left me with some people not understanding that it comes from the heart – never to be intentionally mean.
  36. I put up my hand when I see that others want clarification. I can take the drama that can come with asking a question. This happened a lot at school/uni/trainings… if I hear someone confused I will ask the question. The truth sets you free from worry.
  37. I sold dog training sessions for my puppies having never been officially trained as a dog trainer. I looked at what others were offering and knew I could do that. So I did. They loved it.
  38. I moved to Canada after my degree because I loved my best friend and where she lived – she is canadian. I lasted three months as the reality was far from my dreams… #quitearlyandoften
  39. I was ‘logistics’ in the peak perfomance trainings… which mean that when the considerations were noted in participants books, their venting was aimed at me. It was the biggest lesson that life is not a personal event. What they said were and are the worst insults anyone could read. It was worse when they knew I was reading them. Once you have read the worst anyone can write about you – insults… I laugh at them… ‘Kerry is a viscious c*nt!’  Oh yeah baby!  People are only ever talking about themselves… #lifelesson101
  40. I use my courage to say yes, so when it lessons I have already put in place something that scares the living shit out of my less courageous self, but knowing that my integrity always wins… I will not let anyone down, even when I am feeling less confident.
  41. I was the girl who was the ‘model’ at the indie hairdressers – weird and wonderful was always my forte. Lets just say flock of seagulls had nothing on some of the creations…
  42. I used to ride other people’s horses. I don’t care what you say – this is brave. You never know what you are about to sit on…
  43. I was a year 2000 project lead for a hospital. Most hospitals had a director do this. I was a project manager and had to get my Prince2 Practitioner exam to be able to have the gravitude to tell everyone in the hospital that their ‘contingency plans were not good enough…from the mortician to the ICU. If nothing worked people could die.  They of course did not, but we had to plan as if they could!  And oh did we have robust plans!
  44. I designed the first initiative that allows patients to get a copy of their doctors letters and implemented it. Changing jargon is not an easy task – it was like asking consultants to dumb down their language. But it was done and now is ‘business as usual’ across the UK.  #proudofmywork
  45. I wear my bike helmet in a town full of arty types so that my son’s know that I do not ask them to do something I do not. Mine still has my triathlon number on it. So proud!
  46. I helped set up a Yarb Bombing community group with a friend. She said she wanted to do it… and if someone says they have a dream… can you help? Where do I sign…
  47. I have presented in front of students at career event. I titled the presentation ‘What are you going to do with the rest of your life?’ It was the most attended talk at the fayre.
  48. I have climbed Ben Nevis with three days notice
  49. I have climbed Mount Snowdon twice – once as part of my Duke of Edinburgh award and then with the same group thirty five years later…
  50. I think that my bravery is stupidity in disguise and anyone can do these things…

This list has been so much fun to do.  I think you get a feel for who I am and where I embrace my weirdness.  If I can do that for you  – that is my goal.

I am starting up a new mastermind in Whitstable in September 2019.  If you would like to be a part of my new group – do not wait.  And if you are not in Whitstable – I will be doing the same but on line!  Come.  Be brave and start saying YES I CAN!

Love to you!

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