Are you a conscious or unconscious whiner? - Kerry Hales - Life Coach

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Are you a conscious or unconscious whiner?

February 2, 2012

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If I could coach people on a  few top tips, this one would be at the top, it really would.  Why?  How how much time do you spend either verbally or mentally or whining about your life?  How much time would you free up, and you would then have the mental time and energy to achieve so much of your goals – that if truth be told you say ‘if only I had time’.

This is true for a lot of us.  I can give you an example today.  My partner overheard a conversation in a coffee shop that was being orchestrated by our GP – yes ‘our’ GP.  Who sat for twenty minutes whining about her life to her very concerned friends – twenty minutes!  This may well be the reason she is consistently running late for her appointments but that is not why I am telling you about her.  Why I am telling you is that it happens to us all.  We all get stuck in habits that do not support us.  This is not just for those who may, on the outside, look successful and are high ‘achievers’.  We all do it, young, old, ‘successful’ man, woman and well… beasts!

My question and suggestion today is where are you stuck in a habit of whining about life?  In your head or verbally… what are you whining about?  What is it going to take for you to stop and take responsibility and realise that it is no fun listening to it, it does not help, and it will not get better for whining.  There I said it.

If you must do it, please do it consciously.  By this I mean, if you really want to moan, label it so and give yourself five minutes to get it up and out.  Once you start to do this you will enjoy it much more and you will also start to laugh at yourself more.  Once you are conscious of a whining patttern it will be so much more fun to do it.

So, two choices.  Unconscious whining or conscious whining – what do you want it to be?

Have a great day!

10 thoughts on “Are you a conscious or unconscious whiner?”

  1. Sound advice from you there, Kerry. In my head I believe I keep my whining to a minimum but of course I’m just trying to kid myself. And it’s so easy to hear other people doing it and want them to stop, but feel my moans are legitimate!

    At the same time you’ve picked up on something else important because I feel it is unhealthy to always pretend that everything is wonderful. 5 minutes of conscious whining does the trick.

    Thanks for sharing this. Marion x

    1. Wouldn’t life be wonderful if we didnt need to whine… But we do need to offload, it’s quite liberating when you do it consciously, you can really enjoy it, instead of doing it from a place if self pity – effective and efficient whining! Which I know would appeal to our powerhouse group!

  2. Stonker, Kerry! I whine consciously but I think I am unconcious about how often and how long I do it for. It’s people, Beloved. I love them AND they get on my nerves, LOL. Must try harder not to moan and this helps. J

  3. Oh yes, I think I’m fairly good at both types of whining! I do like the idea of allowing 5 minutes of it consciously… and then if it’s funny or entertaining, turning it into a good story (but only if I’m over it, have learnt from it, and moved on). Let’s face it, usually the situations that are the worst at the time make for the best stories.
    Everyday whining though? Bleugh!

  4. Hi Kerry. Great post. It made me think of a conference I attended a year or so ago when, as we went in, everyone was given a printed material sticker to attach to their name badge which actually said “NO WHINING”. I brought it home and it’s suspended from the shelf on my desk. Better remember to look at it more often . . .

  5. Brilliant Kerry! Yes we all love a good moan at times. Better to be conscious about it though. Great post, Amanda x

  6. Great post that reminded me of how closely linked whining is to offloading – both just take your energies down, down, down to a negative place. When I find myself in that place I quite often ask myself ‘who does that belong to?’ If it didn’t originate from me it disappears – magic!

    1. Energetically we get impacted by so many people we really don’t know what is ‘ours’ but we often default to owning all that lands on us! Whining too! Thanks for the reminder… How much of our own emotions are really ours I wonder?

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