Are you being the best 'you' you can be... - Kerry Hales - Life Coach

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Are you being the best ‘you’ you can be…

January 29, 2013

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I know it’s a funny question.  But for me it came as a shock when my business and blogging took a long breath…  I took time away from my ‘on-line self’ because my business is about inspiration and my blog is about my personal experiences and they where not in the least bit inspiring.

One of my ‘rules’ that I endeavour (I don’t always achieve this) to follow is not to share your ‘stuff’ about – i.e. your misery, your moaning, your belittling stories to make you feel better…  So I took some time away to reflect and look into my business some more and what I really wanted.  This was a reflection of my personal life; my mother was diagnosed with cancer and our lives have been, and continue to be, different.  Very different.

Sharing Me
When my new website was launched in May 2012 I was so excited for my ‘online’ me to to look fresh and new.  I was invigorated and was excited about how I was going market my services, so as many people as possible could find me.  I change people’s lives and my gift is definitely here to share with the world.

When life doesn’t go my way – I stop.   I tried to be positive, but I just couldn’t do anything except be a mum and partner (didn’t do that too well either) and tried to be a daughter to my mum’s ever evolving story of hospitalisation and treatment.

No one is Perfect
Why am I telling you?  I tell you because I think we all need to know that no matter what is going on for you at the time, others are all going through something.  No one is perfect.  Yet we do take life very personally.  I know I haven’t been a good friend, lover, mum, daughter, and no doubt businesswoman – only when I judge myself.  The reality is that for me, life has been overwhelming and although that may look like from the outside that I don’t care as much, the truth is very different.

My life has been given me a new and simple focus over the last few months and I thought I would share some of my new lessons learnt.  See if they resonate with you… do let me know!

5 Rules to keeping ‘your’ life in  focus

1.  Make It Simple.
 I overcomplicate life; I set very high standards and then make it a complicated structure to get there and achieve.  I have revised this and now I take it very simply.  One task to do per day.  Keep it focused and you will do it.

2.  Take time out for you.
 I knit.  I love the physicality of it and how it is a concrete thing.  Life can be such an illusion; feelings, thoughts and emotions.  It is refreshing to make something physical. Knitting for my children (they will wear what I make 🙂 is my meditation and my way to make me stop and do something for me.

3.  Take stock.
I am 43 currently (just squeezing that one in) and I guess I am ready to take on the second part of my life. I feel that its time to be ‘adult’ and get onto the things that I have used to stop me from doing things now.  Time is of the essence.  I need to eat right and look out for me before I get bitter about being older – rejoice it!

4.  Be brave.
Really brave and shout out what I want.  One of my favourite poems is Marianne Williamson’s ‘Our Deepest Fear’.  Every time I read this poem, which is on the wall in my kitchen, I remember that by keeping me to me, I deprive others of living their lives.  If I keep my skills in assisting people to the small privileged few, I am also agreeing that others don’t need me.  I believe that we are here with talents to share with the world.  I know what mine are.  It is no easier knowing than not knowing, in fact it is harder, you have more to lose this way.  But I know that my role is to strive to be the best ‘me’ I can be and to help others do the same.

5.  Say what you want more.
I know that it is a relief to all around me when I tell them what they can do to help me.  To do something for me.  It makes it a little easier for those who love you to be able to support you.  It does.  So next time you want something, don’t be subtle, be clear about what you want.  Believe me, you will love getting what you want much more than playing the game of subtlety, that with a lot of luck and the wind blowing in the right direction you might get somewhere near it.

I shall leave you with a little music, which always makes my life a little better. I heard this song recently and without the video I felt it was very personal to me.  Alicia Keys went from ‘This girl is on Fire’ to a

I know how she feels!

2 thoughts on “Are you being the best ‘you’ you can be…”

  1. Hey! Good to see your online self back in the flow. Love this post for lots of reasons – it is very honest and authentic as they say… Even the coach has a real life with real difficulties. Life is overwhelming at times… How to run with it even when it’s too much. Love the tips… Keeping it simple, being brave in the face of adversity, taking time out for you * so important * and being really fu**ing clear about what you want & how others can assist. Thanks for sharing x. X

    1. Hey Amanda,

      Thank you. Through the past six months I have learnt that no matter how much you think and plan on how you think or want your life to turn out – it never happens how you think. So its best to keep it as simple as you can, keep in present time and have fun doing what you want as much as you can.

      Have fun!

      Your Coach,


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