Why do you do what you do? - Kerry Hales - Life Coach

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Why do you do what you do?

October 14, 2015


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This is not my usual blog post.  I want to say that from the get go.  It has lessons in it but they are mine.  I shall do my best to keep it as short as I can.  But it may take a while to really get it all out.

My life started as a Dog Groomer.  Yes I made pooches beautiful and I got really good, really quickly.  I learnt all about each breed and the standards on which they needed to be groomed.  I learnt it all.  I loved it.  It still stands as one of my favourite jobs I ever had.  But once I knew what to do, the challenge was lost… Hmm…  is that it?  I theme for my life it became apparent.  I was the youngest to get my qualifications and within a year I was being the boss when he was away…  I just ‘got it’.

I loved to travel and so when I was 19 I decided to go to work in Rhodes for the summer – the start of my independence.  Having recently become a mother myself I asked my mother what was she thinking when I asked her to do this?  She just said ‘Kerry, you didn’t ask me, you told me!’ Oh.  Another theme here.

So I got the travel bug and I also knew that you can survive without knowing anyone.  Who knew that could happen?  So my next desire was to travel around the world, so I eventually got a friend to agree to go with me (although it transpired we had very different desires – she was very… lets say conservative… and I wanted to see and experience everything – that was why I left home!) and off we went.  That year taught me so many things, but mostly when I look back to see the lesson it was that ‘I can’.  I met so many people (yeah go figure there are other people living by very different rules out there and I never knew!) and I had to challenge a lot of my ideas of how life ‘should’ be.  It doesn’t have to be like this?  The second powerful lesson was that I am pretty smart – possibly the smartest dog groomer in the world… and this had to change.

I returned to get educated.  After meeting one of my BFF’s she basically told me that I couldnt be her friend if I returned to dog grooming.  It is ok, don’t feel bad for me – I need a strong hand…  So I started my formal education into humans and why we do what we do.  It began.  Life would never be the same again.

After my degree I fell into a job in the National Health Service after a short and painful stint in recruitment (!) and there I stayed for next six or so years.  My career was on the up and I could see where it was headed.  I loved my job, it tested me and challenged me.  But and it is a big BUT, something was missing.  I mean it just didn’t enthuse me to know the future like that.  I wasn’t very… exciting.  To know your whole life in front of you was boring to me and I HATE being bored.  

I love to be challenged, which it was but not with my individuality expressed.  I could only be a toned down version of me.  And that was what I had ahead of me.  Something had to change and I was looking.  I kept travelling and I am very lucky to say I have been blessed to have seen some amazing places on this planet (so far).  But after each holiday I was back to searching for the next ‘fix’.  I was drinking a lot and taking recreational drugs. I couldnt find a man interesting enough to keep long enough.  I ran a marathon…  I was ‘trying’…

Then life changed forever.

I met Dr Mick MacKenzie.  This man ‘saved’ me from the life above.  Well him and my desire.  I met him at an introductory evening that he has before his ‘Self Actualisation’ weekend. I sat next to a man who I shall never forget.  Why?  Because it opened my mind to what I can only say was the most ‘free’ and ‘understood’ I had felt.  I felt I belonged.  I was a student of life…  and it gave me breath!

But I was furious!

The guy who sat next to me said when he was asked what he does ‘I play semi-pro golf’ and that was it.  HE PLAYED GOLF FOR A LIVING.  I got on a train for an hour each way to the depths of london, to try to change the health service, a very worthy job I felt and there he sat.  Golf.  ALL DAY.  How dare he I thought for days after.  Most vividly is my experience the following day when I got on the train with many others, on our way to the centre to do what we do and then to travel back. I knew the sun was shining and he was playing golf.  I know knew I had a choice.  I had a choice to figure it out…

What do I want?

Now this was a can of many worms.  Not just one.  Because I was in my early thirties and I had no man and no family and no children and I was living back at home with my parents.  It is fair to say I had a lot to change! and now I added in that I really didn’t want to be in the NHS either.  My life was upside down and I wanted to make it right side up – but what was that?

This started over ten years of training and learning with Mick and his fabulous family.  Pulling apart my life and character to see who was I really?  I had no idea.  I knew I was a ruthless bitch, no one messed with me (my East End father gave me that) and I was determined to get my own way (thank you mum).  But the rest was up for grabs.  So I took it all apart and put it back together with the connection of my true self.  I cannot remember how many trainings I have undertaken but at least four 30-Day intensives and over 2o Self Actualisations that embedded my desire to be a trainer and coach.  I loved this puzzle of life and other peoples’ fascinated me.

Through my continued training and absorption I found my man.  He just gets me and believe me I kissed enough frogs!  He is worth it.  We have two children, one dog and a cat and live by the beach.  Life is good.

But we have been tested.  My life is all about fully living it.  I know that now.   In our ten years we have been through two bankruptcies, one miscarriage, one MBA, two children, Life Coach training, five house moves in four years, two deaths…  and here we are stronger than ever.  He is intense and powerful and handsome – I am very lucky to have him!  And he me!

I lost my mother earlier this year and learnt more about me and being alone.  Grieving can do that.  I focused and poured my energy into my business which harmonised perfectly with finding the best coach for me.  Sarah Leather has transformed my hobby into a bona fide business and I know now what I do and who I love to work with.  I have programmes!  Packages!  Get me!

I am still a little excitable girl underneath.  We all are.

So my area of expertise is all about that girl.  That girl who is smart and gets things.  She has a great life but not one that challenges the ‘real’ her.  She is seldom out of her depth, but wants to be, just to see if she can swim.  Making dramas out of nothing much just to keep her entertained. In the ‘normal’ life but not feeling normal in any which way, shape or form.  In her comfortable life but feeling anything but.

That is my story.  My life so far has been a ride and I am so excited about the next stage of my life.  I know it is going to be a ride!

If you resonate with ‘that girl’ and want to connect with me.  Just do it.  You are going to have to make that step.  I promise I won’t bite.  Well… not much anyway 😉12094850_10153031574026751_4559991135495768621_o

4 thoughts on “Why do you do what you do?”

  1. Kerry! I loved loved loved reading your story. I too have been on that journey (and am just entering my 30’s) and working on the transformation. Thank you for sharing it is so helpful to hear these stories and know that the life I want is out there.

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